Part of the plan
by Ferowyn
Summary: Hobbit Kink Meme Prompt: Kili likes being dominated by Fili. He loves it, in fact. However, he is absolutely 100% against having anal sex. Fili, unfortunately, isn't. WARNING: Incest


_Prompt: Studies show that anywhere from 25-40% of homosexual men never engage in anal sex. Kili likes being dominated by Fili. He loves it, in fact. However, he is absolutely 100% against having anal sex. Fili, unfortunately, isn't. He's not entirely homosexual, see, and while he loves Kili, he also misses sticking his dick in something. Fili goes out to fulfil his primal needs (with OFC or a member of the company) because he doesn't want to force Kili to do something he doesn't want to do. Then Kili finds out, and it utterly heartbroken._

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**Part of the plan**

This had not been part of the plan.

Kili was currently hiding in an empty tunnel, crying his eyes out. He knew that no one would find him here, which was exactly why he had chosen to hole up in the mines, despite the fact that it could be dangerous. They had retaken Erebor a few months ago and all the dwarves from Ered Luin were slowly returning to their home. Although Thorin was delighted at the arrival of each and every one of them finding accommodations was turning out to be more and more difficult. The amount of damage done by the dragon was immense and the long time of not being looked after had taken its toll as well. Everyone who could work was occupied cleaning the living quarters and making them habitable once again, trying to make room for as many dwarves as possible, thus there was no time to start mining and forging and increasing the treasure. The home comers could barely await taking up their professions, could barely await that everyday life they had been dreaming of for so many years. It would take the better part of a year, however, to get there. Too much had to be done. Before anyone could start working each and every tunnel's condition would have to be assesses, the miners needing to decide which were safe and which could no longer be allowed to be entered.

Actually Kili being here, in this tunnel that might be dangerously instable, was highly forbidden, but the young dwarf could not have cared less. He needed a place where no one – especially not Fili – would be able to find him and since the legally accessible part of Erebor was tiny (compared to the amount of dwarves living there by now) he had to break a few rules. Well, he had never cared for rules anyway, even if they might save his life (he knew, it was childish and due to his terrible hot temper, but right now he would not have minded the ceiling collapsing on him – it would have served his brother right) like this one.

Kili bit his bottom lip and stroke his fists against the wall repeatedly, but no matter how hard he tried, the tears would not stop. No, this had not been part of the plan at all.

Being "brothers with benefits" had seemed like a great idea when they had barely started to explore their sexuality. They had been the only dwarves their age wherever they had lived for most of their childhood and adolescence and they had always been very close. Back then experimenting with each other had been logical and they had known that they would never have to feel ashamed when being with each other. It had been awesome (it still was, actually). Kili loved being dominated by Fili. He was sure that no one else in Middle Earth could make him feel like his brother could, that no one knew him like his brother did – and that was exactly the problem. Or rather part of it.

It had always been a silent agreement that they would lie with each other until one of them had found a partner. Because – that was how it worked, right? No, Kili had never thought that he would end up developing deep, non-brotherly feelings for the older ones. He had tried to suppress them, to make them go away, to distract himself, but all his attempts had been futile and by now it was way too late. He loved Fili with all his heart and soul and there was nothing he could do about (or against) that.

He could not tell his brother, though, no matter how close they were and despite the fact that the older one could talk to him about anything. Unlike himself Fili was not completely content with having a male partner. He liked bedding women, too. There was nothing Kili wanted more than knowing he could give his brother everything the blond dwarf desired and that Fili was his and his alone, but that would never happen. Fili may never have slept with anyone else before this very day, but the possibility and the fear had always been there.

Kili had dreaded that day when he would no longer be able to give the older one what he needed. He had always known it would come, no way of averting it, and tonight it had finally happened. Maybe the black-haired dwarf knew how to make his brother moan and squirm and shudder and scream with pleasure, but there was one thing he had always denied him, one thing he had found himself unable to give. Fili had been patient, telling him to "take his time". That he was content with what he got – after all, it was very good. Today, however, his brother had left the dining hall with a young dwarven lass, not even looking at the younger one, finally taking what he had wanted for so long.

Crunching his teeth Kili tried to get the image out of his head, tried to think of something else than the dwarf he loved thrusting into the girl he already despised so much, but there _was_ nothing else to think about. Fili was his life and losing him would mean losing everything. No, that had not been part of the plan.

Finally Kili managed to stop the tears. He would stay here a little while longer, until he could be sure that Fili was done and until it would no longer be so blatantly obvious that he had spent the better part of the night crying.

He did not even have to think about the matter to make a decision, knowing what this was inevitably going to lead to, no matter how much the thought alone made him cringe. He loved Fili, loved him so much, and if this was what he needed to do to get him back he would do it. Although it had never been part of the plan, either.

oOo

Kili had taken a bath and combed his hair and tried to prepare himself mentally for what he was going to do. He had bought the oil and put fresh linen on the older one's bed in his room (they were not even sharing a room any longer! Despite the fact that there was not enough space for everyone Fili had chosen to sleep in his own chambers, not wanting to share them). The day had been long and filled with doubt, but no matter how often Kili had reconsidered his decision, he had not changed his mind.

He had not seen his brother the whole day (had he spent it with the girl?) and normally he would have waited lying on the bed, naked and already hard, for he knew that would make Fili come running, but he did not know whether that would be welcome today.

He had been waiting for at least three hours when the older one finally entered his room, stopping in the doorway upon the sight of his brother sitting on his bed (fully dressed as one may note), head cocked and a promising smile on his lips.

Kili saw his surprise and something else that looked vaguely like guilt, but he did not take the time to dwell on it. "Good that you are here, brother. I have been thinking about you all day," he murmured, taking his courage in both hands and trying to hide his insecurity. After all he did not know whether his brother still wanted – _needed_ – him.

Immediately Fili closed and locked the door, smirking suggestively and starting to take off his clothes while he was walking towards the bed. Kili waited for him (no chance he was going to do all the work, not with knowing how much his brother liked undressing him), ridiculously relieved.

Then Fili was pressing him into the mattress, capturing his hands above his head and growling possessively. Kili felt all the nervousness and uneasiness subside when the fire his brother had fanned was surging through his veins, suppressing every rational thought he might have had. The older one was only opening the clasps and laces of his clothing, barely touching him, but his dominant demeanour and his talented tongue dancing over Kili's neck were enough to make the black-haired dwarf beg for more. Fili knew only too well how to arouse him beyond belief.

Then he was finally undressed and the older one's tongue was making its way into lower realms, having him panting and squirming and moaning until he came in Fili's mouth. His brother kissed him, let him taste himself and Kili gulped heavily, deciding that putting it off would not do him any good. The blond dwarf's arousal was obvious and he had just cum, maybe Fili would not notice his lack of… _enthusiasm_.

He banished all the negative thoughts to the back of his mind and let his fingers ghost over Fili's chest, stopping at his nipples. The older one's breath caught. Kili smiled suggestively, bringing his mouth to his brother's ear. "Take me," he whispered, sucking at the blond dwarf's earlobe. Fili gasped for air.

"E-excuse me?"

"Take me," Kili repeated, letting his lips trail down his beloved's neck and leaving hickeys on the skin over the older one's collar bone. That way he did not have to look him in the eye.

"You sure?" Fili asked, but his hands were already on their way down, finding Kili's backside and kneading it.

Kili barely managed not to tense and nodded. Yes, he was sure he did not want to lose Fili.

"Turn around and kneel" Fili found the oil and took his time to prepare the younger one, desperately trying to make this as enjoyable for his brother as possible. "You ready?" he asked when he had prepared himself, too, voice husky and full of arousal. Kili, who had kept his eyes closed, nodded again. He was panting, but that was rather due to his nervousness than to pleasure. Only seconds later Fili was in him. The younger one clenched his fists. That did not feel particularly good.

Although Kili could feel him shudder and fight for his self-control Fili waited for Kili's consent before he started to move. It took the younger one a few minutes before he could nod once again.

Then Fili was thrusting into him and Kili simply waited for it to be over. It did not hurt, but he most definitely did not like it either. He was not going to say anything, though, and Fili was too far gone to notice without looking into his eyes.

Then the older one came and collapsed against Kili's back, pulling him down onto the mattress while he slipped out of him. He pulled the blanket over both their bodies and pressed his chest against his brother's back, wrapping one arm possessively around the younger one's waste. "Thank you," he whispered, planting a soft, affectionate kiss on Kili's temple before he closed his eyes.

Kili knew, no matter how little he liked it – he would be doing it again. That had not been part of the plan at all, but it was definitely worth it.

oOo

They had done it again in the morning. And the next evening. And when they had woken up in the night. Kili was feeling rather sour, but so far he had managed not to let his brother see how he really felt. This was way too precious to be given up for a little uneasiness, for Fili was incredibly cuddly afterwards and showed him so much affection – little gestures that he could tell himself were given because of love, not satisfaction.

Once again he was waiting for Fili in the older one's room (this time naked), lying on his bed. When Fili entered he would not even have had to look at his brother in order to know he had to lock the door. He was fully undressed by the time he had made it to the bed and a possessive growl escaped his lips as he pinned the younger one against the mattress, stroking and teasing all those spots that he knew would make the black haired dwarf beg. However, he did not pay his brother off before he took him this time and he immediately realized the sudden loss of Kili's erection as soon as he had penetrated him.

There was nothing more he needed to see or ask in order to know what was going on and faster than Kili could understand what was happening he was standing in front of the door, letting his fists strike against the old wood. "Why?" he demanded to know. "Why in Aulë's name would you sleep with me if you still do not want it?" The anger was clearly audible in his voice, along with something else Kili could not identify.

The younger one paled and tried to hide under the covers. That was not going according to plan! He knew he could not tell his brother why he had really done it without losing him, but what was he supposed to say?

Fili's expression softened when he saw his brother's despair. He returned to the bed, pulling away the covers and sitting down next to the younger one. "Why?" he asked again, but this time much lower and without the anger.

Kili did not dare to look at him. He knew he had to answer. "Because… I did not want you to run off with that girl?" he offered, gaze fixed on his hands.

Fili sighed. "I did not want to hurt you," he admitted. "I… thought I needed this, and I was afraid I might pressure you. I took the girl because I did not want to hurt you. I did not realize that it would hurt you, too. That you would bear sleeping with me so as to not to lose me."

Kili flinched when the older one summarized his thoughts so easily. Now all was lost – obviously his brother knew. He turned away in order to hide his tears and get dressed when strong arms were wrapped around his chest and a body was pressed against his back. "You should have told me," Fili whispered into his ear. "You should have told me and we would have figured something out. We _will_ figure something out."

Kili almost forgot to breathe, not daring to hope, not yet. It would hurt too much if he understood all of this the wrong way.

"I was desperate not to hurt you, doing what I thought would be best. But a little satisfaction is not worth being without you. Never." Kili still did not move and he felt Fili shift uncomfortably behind him. "… say something? Please?"

He cleared his throat. "You…" No, that did not work. "I…" That neither. "… stay?" he finally managed and he did not need to say more, for Fili turned him around and looked at him and there were so many emotions in his eyes that Kili thought he might get lost in them and never find his way back. Not that he would mind. Then the older one kissed him, so tenderly and lovingly that this time he really forgot to breathe, but that did not matter. This was so much better than the short kisses after they had slept with each other and later Fili curled up around him, one of his hands around his waist, the other one in his hair, and buried his nose in Kili's hair and breathed soft kisses into his neck and when Kili thought his heart could impossibly beat any harder or faster he murmured "I love you", so quietly he almost did not hear it, and his heart skipped a beat.

"Love you, too," he whispered, still not sure if he was dreaming. This had not been part of the plan either, but who cared?


End file.
